Ahoy there!

So, I've been absent for a while. It's been a tough few months. N has stopped sleeping, we've been to hell and back. Tried everything and anything. Changed formulas numerous times, even had blood tests. Finally figured out my homemade fruit purée mix seemed to be upsetting his stomach. So now were down to sleeping from about 8/9-1/2 awake for an hour when one of us goes into him to co sleep then sleeping till 7. So we're getting there, slowly. I won't lie there are days I couldn't see an end in sight, days I just wanted to walk away, have some time where I'm not "on". Like I said were slowly getting there....I've only 2ish months left at home and I'm dreading going back to work. I just can't see how there are enough hours in the day! N now crystal after hub in the mornings so I'm dreading leaving him.
We have 2 teeth and a head full of eczema/really bad dry scalp, N scratches constantly so he's sporting some funky arm socks at night. Again we've tried silcocks base, moogoo, coconut oil, Elave, Aveeno, Dentinox, and were trying Capasal shampoo tomorrow. Since the scratching causes Nate to wake himself up, I'm hoping we can curb it ASAP.
I bought myself a Madame Googoo and I've started carrying N a lot, I love the closeness and how easy it is out shopping. So hopefully N will go to his first Leinster game in 2 weeks in the carrier.
No matter how hard it everything is though I just look at this and melt.

Solids..

We're on solids for the last 2 weeks. N loves them! We've tried baby rice, banana cereal and creamy porridge. He's really thriving now 4 bottles and 2 feeds a day and back to sleeping mostly through the night.
We've mastered tummy time and he was given a big thumbs up from the physio for his head control and neck movement.
I'm starting to introduce veg next week, I cant wait to see how he reacts to them.
I on the other hand have started kettlebells 2-3 times a week, I love the time to myself and I really want to shift the weight.

Today...

I bought new shoes. My husband took over the morning shift, I went and sent off our wedding thank you cards, just under the etiquette limit of 1 year! had a Starbucks, changed some clothes and bought new satin wedge sparkly shoes!
They really cheered me up, as did the 3.5 hours of peace. N and the husband get on so well, the husband soothes him so much. N started gurgling and cooing, it's very cute. He also slept for 6.5 hours last night, it was bliss, we've had a messed up day feed wise so I know he'll be up in the middle of the night tonight.
Noone talks about the emotions and despair of the first few weeks, people talk about the depression, but what about the people who just feel down, overwhelmed and slightly resentful about losing their old lifestyle. It's not bad to feel like that, you are basically mourning a relationship, it takes a good while to transition from your old life to your new brand spanking new life.

It's the screaming......

.......when you've fed, winded, changed them, there's nothing wrong but still with the screaming, and of course neither of you can tell the other what's wrong. Then he's an angel when other people are up, and tell you how lucky you are. Then when you point out he's not the best when youre alone you're told " ah sure everyone feels like its like that when they're alone, you're really lucky though he's so good"! It's all that that makes a normal day a shit day.